I'm not an artist

Have you ever declared that statement? I often use it as a clarifying statement. When I tell people I love being creative and diving into stereotypically "artsy" hobbies, I jump to the conclusion that they might think I'm really talented in the arts, so I put the kibosh on that assumption right away. I've noticed that it's a protection mechanism. I keep expectations of my "skill" or "talent" low. This way, I don't disappoint anyone.

Truth is, I'm a perfectionist. If I can't do something well right away, I get frustrated. How prideful is that?! This uncomfortable truth has led to so many paths not taken. I have not lived fully because I'm afraid to fail. I'm afraid that I'll feel embarrassed. Honestly, I think I'm just afraid. I've come to these realizations in the past year, and it's not been an easy pill to swallow. Instead of wallowing however, I've taken my fear to Jesus. I've chosen to submit my fears, failures, and dreams to him.

Crazy transformation has begun to take root. I've been much more willing to try new hobbies and experiences that I wouldn't have had initiative to start a year ago. I've discovered that I really LOVE watercolor! I love the different outcomes based on how much water you add either to the paper or the color. I enjoy mixing colors to see what new blends are created. And watercolor is so forgiving. It's not about perfection. It's about creating. There is uniqueness in each painting.

I started by purchasing a small watercolor notebook (3.9x3.9"). I already had some paintbrushes and watercolor. Nothing fancy. And I went for it! I put watercolor on paper. As simple as that. I used photographs or graphics for inspiration at times. It felt so freeing and fun! The accomplishment of creating something that makes me smile feels pretty incredible.

If you're reading this shaking your head saying, "me too!" I hope that this encourages you to start something new. Create just to enjoy the process. Make something that brings you joy or that will bring someone else joy. Try your best to throw off any assumed judgements of how others will view your "art".

While reading That Sounds Fun, by Annie F. Downs, I was taken aback by her reference of the word amateur. It sounds like a negative descriptor and is often used that way in how people are described when they don't seem to know what they're doing. I'm thankful she shared the other definitions for amateur. My favorites being: a person who engages in a study, sport, or other activity for pleasure, and a person who admires something.

All this to say, don't fear being an amateur. It is a privilege to be an amateur at something! It means you are beginning something new. You are venturing into the unknown where beauty and joy await. You get the opportunity to bring more beauty into the world. I truly believe that this brings so much joy to our creator, God. He shows us his creativity every time we walk out the door, every time we look into the face of another person. How cool is it that we get to create too? You're never too old and it's never too late to begin. Take the leap.

With love,

Cara